Here the major gave his whip two or three smart cracks, and bid old
Battle proceed at a more rapid pace, as his appetite caused him to
make sundry contemplations about the dinner he would get at the
house of Mrs. Trotbridge.

"Well, seeing that I was up and popular," said the major, resuming
his story, "Townsend piled my room with circulars, saying his
sarsaparilla was the only kind used by politicians and military men,
who invariably pronounced it the cure for those diseases which, it
is charged by a Spanish writer, of great learning, are incident to
their professions. Brandreth sent me samples of his pills, which he
said were unequaled for purging politicians of all those ill humors
they were heirs to. And both (moved by Brown, no doubt) sent me
invitations to parties given in honor of me at their princely
mansions on the Fifth Avenue. Barnum, too, considering me a
remarkable curiosity, sent two tickets to his great show house,
which the vulgar called a museum. And the Misses Whalebone &
Gossamer sent to say that their assortment of baby clothes was of
the choicest description, and that they would be much pleased if
Mrs. Major Potter would call and examine for herself.

"As I was always considered a good looking man," (the major, though
as ugly a man as could well be found, was extremely vain of his
looks,) "no end of sly looks were turned upon me at parties by
marriageable damsels, who mistook me for a single man on the look
out. As to young widows, why, the tears hung as temptingly in their
eyes as pearls. Whether they were for me or their deceased husbands,
I am not bound to say, self praise being no recommendation. It often
occurred to me, however, that marrying a widow would be an act of