charges I shall bring against the major will, on inquiry, be found
to have their origin in an uncontrollable passion for trade only.
Whether it will be found that he has committed acts for which he can
be arraigned before a court-martial, such being the fashionable
process of making heroes of military delinquents, must be left
entirely to the reader's judgment.

Having got well upon the road, the major turned to me with an air of
evident self-satisfaction, and addressed me as follows: "If Mrs.
Major Potter was out of the way, I would make twain of the widow,
merely for the love her children bear me." Here he jerked the reins
and bade old Battle, who was giving strong proof of the quality of
his wind, quicken his pace. "However, as it is wicked to contemplate
matrimony with a wife on hand, I must console myself with having
cleared in the trade with her and the fishmonger, at least two
dollars and forty cents. The chickens are not what she takes them
for. There can be no doubt of their coming to Shanghais, but as to
their eating off barrel heads, they can do that now, only set the
barrel heads upon the ground. All the ill feathered devils in my
coop are not worth a single black foot." The major, like many others
who affect gallantry, rather prided himself on the chivalry there
was in deceiving widows and getting the better of fishmongers. We
were thus pursuing our journey, when the major suddenly reminded me
that he had been interrupted in the recital of the story of his
first adventure in New York, and begged I would tell him the exact
point where he left off. This I did, as far as my memory served, out
of sheer charity. He then begged me not to get impatient, for he
would soon get to where he was the hero of several extraordinary
exploits, which he had performed while taking care of the nation.
"That's the point," said the Major, taking the cue. "The story was