and more bacon fried; or else he was up so outrageous early, that he
was scolding because there was no hot water before the fire was lit--
bless you, he hadn't a bit of sense in his head, poor boy, not a bit!
And how should he? Why, he went to school as soon as he was out of
petticoats, and was set to all that Latin and Greek stuff that never
puts anything useful into folks' heads, but so much more chatter and
talk; so he came back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear me, on a
wet day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy
creatures. 'Cook, I must make a pie,' says one. 'There's a pie in
the oven already, Master James,' says I. 'I don't care about the pie
in the oven,' says he, 'I want a pie of my own. Bring me the flour,
and the water, and the butter, and all the things--and, above all,
the rolling-pin--and clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie.
Here goes!' And here used to go, my dears, for Master James had no
sense, as I told you; and so he'd shove all my pots and dishes away,
one on the top of the other; and let me be as busy as I would, and
dinner ever so near ready, the dresser must be cleared, and
everything must give way to HIS pie! His pie, indeed--I wish I had
had the management of his pie just then! I'd have taught him what it
was to come shaking the rolling-pin at the head of a respectable
cook, who wanted to get her business done properly, as in duty bound!

"But he wasn't the only one. There was little Whipper-snapper, his
younger brother, squeaking out in another corner, 'I shan't make a
pie, James, I shall make toffey; it's far better fun. You'd better
come and help me. Where's the treacle pot, Cook? Cook! I say,
Cook! where's the treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and
pan. What's in the pan, I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans! Who cares for
kidney-beans? How can I make toffey, when all these things are on
the fire? Stay, I'll hand them all off!'