Ardath by Marie Corelli
page 197 of 769 (25%)
page 197 of 769 (25%)
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once or twice restlessly as he inwardly reflected how poor and
unsatisfying were his own poetical powers, and how totally unfitted he was to cope with a rival so vastly his superior. Not that he by any means desired to cross swords with Sah-luma in a duel of song,-that was an idea that never entered his mind; he was simply conscious of a certain humiliated feeling,--an impression that it' he would be a poet at all, he must go back to the very first beginning of the art and re-learn all he had ever known, or thought he knew. Many strange and complex emotions were at work within him, . . emotions which he could neither control nor analyze,--and though he felt himself fully alive,--alive to his very finger-tips, he was ever and anon aware of a curious sensation like that experienced by a suddenly startled somnambulist, who, just on the point of awaking, hesitates reluctantly on the threshold of dreamland, unwilling to leave one realm of shadows for another more seeming true, yet equally transient. Entangled in perplexed reveries he scarcely noticed the brilliant crowds of people that were flocking hither and thither through the streets, many of whom recognizing Sah-luma waved their hands or shouted some gay word of greeting,--he saw, as it were without seeing. The whirling pageant around him was both real and unreal,--there was always a deep sense of mystery that hung like a cloud over his mind,--a cloud that no resolution of his could lift,--and often he caught himself dimly speculating as to what lay BEHIND that cloud. Something, he felt sure,--something that like the clew to an. intricate problem, would explain much that was now altogether incomprehensible,-- moreover he remorsefully realized that he had formerly known that clew and had foolishly lost it, but how he could not tell. |
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