expletives to which the second eldest smiled and nodded his head.
Suthep, however, had childish sensitivities of his own that life had
not yet hacked from him but when Jatupon quickened his pace to walk
near him Suthep looked over toward him with silent rage. Jatupon just
turned away and sucked in his bottom lip. It was true that weeks had
passed since the death of their parents and it was so that life went
on--that it was quickly manufactured and quickly hit the dust bin like
any worn out or broken commodity; but, he argued to himself, an
admission of their own pain and a kind smile would have helped to keep
his boyhood suppressed and his manhood poised.
Jatupon was still nonplused. The present was an undercurrent in
his inundating thoughts. His vision was often cracked and misted in
suppressed tears and his eyes burned from his sweat seeping into them.
He felt disoriented and although it was apparent, it didn't seem to
evoke sympathy. In virtually his first words that day he hoarsely spoke
incommunicably, cleared his throat, and then yelled over to Kazem, the
second eldest, that he needed to go to the bathroom. Kazem stopped
walking and told the youngest, Jatupon (to whom he nicknamed
"Jatuporn"), to hold his water until they were "home." The word "home"
did not make any impression on the youngest who was now wondering if
they would be spending the rest of their lives walking in this fashion.
He felt that they were sinking in an abyss of
negative probabilities. Concerning the pejorative comment about
holding his water, it was no worse than being called "Jatuporn." He
was used to it.
A facial muscle below Kazem's left eye began to twitch immediately
before they again started walking. Conscious of Kazem's disposition,
Jatupon became less disconcerted and more guarded, hurrying but
maintaining a consistent space between himself and his brothers. How
strange, Jatupon thought, that the fetid one did not have the same