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My Life — Volume 1 by Richard Wagner
page 250 of 712 (35%)
consequence of my increasing dislike of them, and therefore, when
at the end of March, 1839, at the close of my second winter
there, I was given my dismissal by the management, although this
occurrence surprised me for other reasons, yet I felt fully
reconciled to this compulsory change in my life. The reasons
which led to this dismissal were, however, of such a nature that
I could only regard it as one of the most disagreeable
experiences of my life. Once, when I was lying dangerously ill, I
heard of Holtei's real feelings towards me. I had caught a severe
cold in the depth of winter at a theatrical rehearsal, and it at
once assumed a serious character, owing to the fact that my
nerves were in a state of constant irritation from the continual
annoyance and vexatious worry caused by the contemptible
character of the theatrical management. It was just at the time
when a special performance of the opera Norma was to be given by
our company in Mitau. Holtei insisted on my getting up from a
sick-bed to make this wintry journey, and thus to expose myself
to the danger of seriously increasing my cold in the icy theatre
at Mitau. Typhoid fever was the consequence, and this pulled me
down to such an extent that Holtei, who heard of my condition, is
said to have remarked at the theatre that I should probably never
conduct again, and that, to all intents and purposes, 'I was on
my last legs.' It was to a splendid homoeopathic physician, Dr.
Prutzer, that I owed my recovery and my life. Not long after that
Holtei left our theatre and Riga for ever; his occupation there,
with 'the far too respectable conditions,' as he expressed it,
had become intolerable to him. In addition, however,
circumstances had arisen in his domestic life (which had been
much affected by the death of his wife) which seemed to make him
consider a complete break with Riga eminently desirable. But to
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