slaves took me for a maniac, and mimicked me in the most insolent manner,
but a large crowd gathered around him, clapping its hands in awe-struck
admiration, for so heavy and massive were his private parts, that you
would have thought that the man himself was but an appendage of his own
member! Oh such a man! He could do his bit all right! I haven't a
doubt but that he could begin on the day before and never finish till the
day after the next! And he soon found a friend, of course: some Roman
knight or other, I don't know his name, but he bears a bad reputation, so
they say, threw his own mantle around the wanderer and took him off home
with himself, hoping, I suppose, to have the sole enjoyment of so huge a
prize. But I couldn't get my own clothing back from the officious bath
attendant till I found some one who could identify me, which only goes to
show that it is more profitable to rub up the member than it is to polish
the mind!" While Eumolpus was relating all this, I changed countenance
continually, elated, naturally, at the mishaps of my enemy, and vexed at
his good fortune; but I controlled my tongue nevertheless, as if I knew
nothing about the episode, and read aloud the bill of fare. (Hardly had
I finished, when our humble meal was served. The food was plain but
succulent and nutritious, and the famished scholar Eumolpus, fell to
ravenously.)

Kind Providence unto our needs has tempered its decrees
And met our wants, our carping plaints to still
Green herbs, and berries hanging on their rough and brambly sprays
Suffice our hunger's gnawing pangs to kill.
What fool would thirst upon a river's brink? Or stand and freeze
In icy blasts, when near a cozy fire?
The law sits armed outside the door, adulterers to seize,
The chaste bride, guiltless, gratifies desire.
All Nature lavishes her wealth to meet our just demands;