"Confound me if I can."

"Well. I see, Mr. Cudmore, you are really too innocent for these
people. But come--it shall never be said that youth and inexperience
ever suffered from the unworthy ridicule and cold sarcasm of the base
world, while Tom O'Flaherty stood by a spectator.

"Sir," said Tom, striking his hand with energy on the table, and darting
a look of fiery indignation from his eye, "Sir, you were this night
trepanned--yes, sir, vilely, shamefully trepanned--I repeat the
expression--into the performance of a menial office--an office so
degrading, so offensive, so unbecoming the rank, the station, and the
habits of gentlemen, my very blood recoils when I only think of the
indignity."

The expression of increasing wonder and surprise depicted in Mr.
Cudmore's face at these words, my friend Phiz might convey--I cannot
venture to describe it--suffice it to say, that even O'Flaherty himself
found it difficult to avoid a burst of laughter, as he looked at him and
resumed.

"Witnessing, as I did, the entire occurrence; feeling deeply for the
inexperience which the heartless worldlings had dared to trample upon,
I resolved to stand by you, and here I am come for that purpose."

"Well, but what in the devil's name have I done all this time?"

"What! are you still ignorant?--is it possible? Did you not hand the
kettle from the fire-place, and fill the tea-pot?--answer me that!"