his consciousness of his tendency to do mischief, and his inability to
master it; all this in the dark, and in the narrow limits of a
mail-coach, where there was scarcely room for defence, and no
possibility of escape--how heartily I wished myself back in the
Coffee-room at Morrisson's, with my poor friend Tom--the infernal
chaise, that I cursed a hundred times, would have been an "exchange,"
better than into the Life Guards--ay, even the outside of the coach, if
I could only reach it, would, under present circumstances, be a glorious
alternative to my existing misfortune. What were rain and storm,
thunder and lightning, compared with the chances that awaited me here?
--wet through I should inevitably be, but then I had not yet contracted
the horror of moisture my friend opposite laboured under. "Ha! what is
that? is it possible he can be asleep; is it really a snore?--Heaven
grant that little snort be not what the medical people call a
premonitory symptom--if so, he'll be in upon me now in no time. Ah,
there it is again; he must be asleep surely; now then is my time or
never." With these words, muttered to myself, and a heart throbbing
almost audibly at the risk of his awakening, I slowly let down the
window of the coach, and stretching forth my hand, turned the handle
cautiously and slowly; I next disengaged my legs, and by a long
continuous effort of creeping--which I had learned perfectly once, when
practising to go as a boa constrictor to a fancy ball--I withdrew myself
from the seat and reached the step, when I muttered something very like
a thanksgiving to Providence for my rescue. With little difficulty I now
climbed up beside the guard, whose astonishment at my appearance was
indeed considerable--that any man should prefer the out, to the inside
of a coach, in such a night, was rather remarkable; but that the person
so doing should be totally unprovided with a box-coat, or other similar
protection, argued something so strange, that I doubt not, if he were to
decide upon the applicability of the statute of lunacy to a traveller in