at that till I thought he'd split his sides, and, in good truth, I could
not help joining in the fun, although my foot was smarting like mad, and
so we jogged along through the rain, enjoying the joke just as if we were
sitting by a good fire, with a jorum of punch between us. I am sure I
can't tell you how often we fell that night, but my clothes the next
morning were absolutely covered with mud, and my hat crushed in two; for
he was so confoundedly drunk it was impossible to keep him up, and he
always kept boring along with his head down, so that my heart was almost
broke in keeping him upon his legs. I'm sure I never had a more
fatiguing march in the whole Peninsula, than that blessed mile and a
half; but every misfortune has an end at last, and it was four o'clock,
striking by the college clock, as we reached the barracks. After
knocking a couple of times, and giving the countersign, the sentry opened
the small wicket, and my heart actually leaped with joy that I had done
with my friend; so, I just called out the sergeant of the guard, and
said, 'will you put that poor fellow on the guard-bed till morning, for I
found him on the common, and he could neither find his way home nor tell
me where he lived.' 'And where is he?' said the sergeant. 'He's outside
the gate there,' said I, 'wet to the skin, and shaking as if he had the
ague.' 'And is this him?' said the sergeant as we went outside. 'It
is,' said I, 'maybe you know him?' 'Maybe I've a guess,' said he,
bursting into a fit of laughing, that I thought he'd choke with. 'Well,
sergeant,' said I, 'I always took you for a humane man; but, if that's
the way you treat a fellow-creature in distress.' 'A fellow-creature,'
said he, laughing louder than before. 'Ay, a fellow-creature,' said I
--for the sergeant was an orangeman--'and if he differs from you in
matters of religion, sure he's your fellow-creature still.' 'Troth,
Doctor, I think there's another trifling difference betune us,' said he.
'Damn your politics,' said I; 'never let them interfere with true
humanity.' Wasn't I right, Major? 'Take good care of him, and there's a