Every one knows that epitaphs generally are expressed in such
complimentary terms as quite explain the question of the child, who
wonderingly inquired where they buried the bad people. Mrs. Stone,
however, quotes a remarkably out-spoken one, from a monument in
Horselydown Church, in Cumberland. It runs as follows:--

Here lie the bodies
Of Thomas Bond and Mary his wife.
She was temperate, chaste, and charitable;
But
She was proud, peevish, and passionate.
She was an affectionate wife and a tender mother;
But
Her husband and child, whom she loved,
Seldom saw her countenance without a disgusting frown;
While she received visitors whom she despised with an endearing smile.
Her behaviour was discreet towards strangers;
But
Imprudent in her family.
Abroad her conduct was influenced by good breeding;
But
At home by ill temper.

And so the epitaph runs on to considerable length, acknowledging
the good qualities of the poor woman, but killing each by setting
against it some peculiarly unamiable trait. I confess that my
feeling is quite turned in her favour by the unmanly assault which
her brother (the author of the inscription) has thus made upon the
poor dead woman. If you cannot honestly say good of a human being
on his grave-stone, then say nothing at all. There are some cases