position as a suitor for Ellen would strike me at once? Of course it
did. In my lucid moments, when I was not dreaming, I was a very
rational man, who had read a good deal, and learned not a little;
and it would have been sheer madness in me to have indulged for an
instant the hope of a marriage between Ellen and myself. I knew it
was an utter impossibility--as impossible as to be elected President
of the United States; and yet, in spite of myself, I dreamed of it.
However, I must do myself the justice to add that my passion
inconvenienced nobody. I would no more have spoken of it than of my
imaginary command of the army of the Potomac. The pleasures which my
love afforded me could give umbrage to no one. Yet I am convinced
that Ellen read my secret. Not that she ever said a word to me on
the subject; no look or syllable of hers could have made me suspect
that she had guessed the state of my mind.

"One single incident I remember which was not in accordance with her
habitual reserve in this respect. I noticed one day that her eyes
were red. Of course I dared not ask her why she had cried. During
the lesson she seemed absent; and when leaving she said, without
looking at me, 'I may perhaps be obliged to interrupt our lessons
for some little time; I am very sorry. I wish you every happiness.'
Then, without raising her eyes, she quickly left the room. I was
bewildered. What could her words mean? And why had they been said in
such an affectionate tone?

"The next day Francis Gilmore called to inform me, with his father's
compliments, that he was to have four days' holidays, because his
sister had just been betrothed to Mr. Howard, a wealthy New York
merchant, and that, for the occasion, there would be great
festivities at home.