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An Egyptian Princess — Volume 10 by Georg Ebers
page 41 of 77 (53%)
very moment might be raising his dagger to plunge it into Bartja's heart.

How could he ever meet his mother again after Bartja's death? how could
he answer her questions or those of that lovely Sappho, whose large,
anxious, appealing eyes had touched him so strangely?

A voice within told him, that his brother's murder would be branded as a
cowardly, unnatural, and unjust deed, and he shuddered at the thought.
It seemed fearful, unbearable, to be called an assassin. He had already
caused the death of many a man without the least compunction, but that
had been done either in fair fight, or openly before the world. He was
king, and what the king did was right. Had he killed Bartja with his own
hand, his conscience would not have reproached him; but to have had him
privately put out of the way, after he had given so many proofs of
possessing first-rate manly qualities, which deserved the highest praise
--this tortured him with a feeling of rage at his own want of principle,
-a feeling of shame and remorse which he had never known before. He
began to despise himself. The consciousness of having acted, and wished
to act justly, forsook him, and he began to fancy, that every one who had
been executed by his orders, had been, like Bartja, an innocent victim of
his fierce anger. These thoughts became so intolerable, that he began to
drink once more in the hope of drowning them. But now the wine had
precisely the opposite effect, and brought such tormenting thoughts,
that, worn out as he was already by epileptic fits and his habit of
drinking, both body and mind threatened to give way to the agitation
caused by the events of the last months. Burning and shivering by turns,
he was at last forced to lie down. While the attendants were disrobing
him, he remembered his brother's present, had the box fetched and opened,
and then desired to be left alone. The Egyptian paintings on the outside
of the box reminded him of Nitetis, and then he asked himself what she
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