devotions when I try to pray. To whom is it given to read the soul of
man? And is not Sirona's form and face the loveliest image of the Most
High? So to represent it, that the whole charm that her presence
exercises over me might also be felt by every beholder, is a task that I
have set myself ever since her arrival in our house. I had to go back to
the capital, and the work I longed to achieve took a clearer form; at
every hour I discovered something to change and to improve in the pose of
the head, the glance of the eye or the expression of the mouth. But
still I lacked courage to put the work in hand, for it seemed too
audacious to attempt to give reality to the glorious image in my soul, by
the aid of gray clay and pale cold marble; to reproduce it so that the
perfect work should delight the eye of sense, no less than the image
enshrined in my breast delights my inward eye. At the same time I was
not idle, I gained the prize for the model of the lions, and if I have
succeeded with the Good Shepherd blessing the flock, which is for the
sarcophagus of Comes, and if the master could praise the expression of
devoted tenderness in the look of the Redeemer, I know--nay, do not
interrupt me, mother, for what I felt was a pure emotion and no sin--
I know that it was because I was myself so full of love, that I was
enabled to inspire the very stone with love. At last I had no peace, and
even without my father's orders I must have returned home; then I saw her
again, and found her even more lovely than the image which reigned in my
soul. I heard her voice, and her silvery bell-like laughter--and then--
and then--. You know very well what I learned yesterday. The unworthy
wife of an unworthy husband, the woman Sirona, is gone from me for ever,
and I was striving to drive her image from my soul, to annihilate it and
dissipate it--but in vain! and by degrees a wonderful stress of creative
power came upon me. I hastily placed the lamps, took the clay in my
hand, and feature by feature I brought forth with bitter joy the image
that is deeply graven in my heart, believing that thus I might be