long time, and cast down my eyes, like the women there, it is not in my
blood; and Adam shut me up in a cage and for many years let me see
nothing except himself, and the cold, stupid city in the ravine by the
forest. One day a fierce longing came upon me, I could not help going
forth--forth into the wide world, no matter with whom or whither. The
soldier only needed to hint and I fell.--I did not stay with him long,
he was a windy braggart; but I was faithful to Captain Grandgagnage and
accompanied the wild fellow with the Walloons through every land, until
he was shot. Then ten years ago, I joined Zorrillo; he is my friend,
he shares my feelings, I am necessary to his existence. Do not laugh,
Ulrich; I well know that youth lies behind me, that I am old, yet
Pasquale loves me; since I have had him, I have been more content and,
Holy Virgin! now--I love him in return. Oh, Heaven! Oh, Heaven! Why
is it so? This heart, this miserable heart, still throbs as fast as it
did twenty years ago."

"You will not leave him?"

"No, no, I love him, and I know why. Every one calls him a brave man,
yet they only half know him; no one knows him wholly as I do. No one
else is so good, so generous. You must let me speak! Do you suppose I
ever forgot you? Never, never! But you have always been to me the dear
little boy; I never thought of you as a man, and since I could not have
you and longed so greatly for you, for a child, I opened my heart to the
soldiers' orphans, the little creature you saw in the tent is one of
these poor things, I have often had two or three such babies at the same
time. It would have been an abomination to Grandgagnage, but Zorrillo
rejoices in my love for children, and I have given what the Walloon
bequeathed me and his own booty to the soldiers' widows and the little
naked babies in the camp. He was satisfied, for whatever I do pleases