_coup_ may fail. The stakes are no less than victory and defeat,
Hannay.'

I got out of my chair and walked to the window. It was a
difficult moment in my life. I was happy in my soldiering; above
all, happy in the company of my brother officers. I was asked to go
off into the enemy's lands on a quest for which I believed I was
manifestly unfitted - a business of lonely days and nights, of nerve-
racking strain, of deadly peril shrouding me like a garment. Looking
out on the bleak weather I shivered. It was too grim a business, too
inhuman for flesh and blood. But Sir Walter had called it a matter
of life and death, and I had told him that I was out to serve my
country. He could not give me orders, but was I not under orders -
higher orders than my Brigadier's? I thought myself incompetent,
but cleverer men than me thought me competent, or at least
competent enough for a sporting chance. I knew in my soul that if
I declined I should never be quite at peace in the world again. And
yet Sir Walter had called the scheme madness, and said that he
himself would never have accepted.

How does one make a great decision? I swear that when I turned
round to speak I meant to refuse. But my answer was Yes, and I
had crossed the Rubicon. My voice sounded cracked and far away.

Sir Walter shook hands with me and his eyes blinked a little.

'I may be sending you to your death, Hannay - Good God, what
a damned task-mistress duty is! - If so, I shall be haunted with
regrets, but you will never repent. Have no fear of that. You have
chosen the roughest road, but it goes straight to the hill-tops.'