money to burn, so I didn't need to go scrambling like a wild cat for
war contracts. But I reckoned I would get let into the game somehow,
and I was. Being a nootral, I was in an advantageous position
to take a hand. I had a pretty hectic time for a while, and then I
reckoned I would leave God's country and see what was doing in
Europe. I have counted myself out of the bloodshed business, but,
as your poet sings, peace has its victories not less renowned than
war, and I reckon that means that a nootral can have a share in a
scrap as well as a belligerent.'

'That's the best kind of neutrality I've ever heard of,' I said.

'It's the right kind,' he replied solemnly. 'Say, Major, what are
your lot fighting for? For your own skins and your Empire and the
peace of Europe. Waal, those ideals don't concern us one cent.
We're not Europeans, and there aren't any German trenches on
Long Island yet. You've made the ring in Europe, and if we came
butting in it wouldn't be the rules of the game. You wouldn't
welcome us, and I guess you'd be right. We're that delicate-minded
we can't interfere and that was what my friend, President Wilson,
meant when he opined that America was too proud to fight. So
we're nootrals. But likewise we're benevolent nootrals. As I follow
events, there's a skunk been let loose in the world, and the odour
of it is going to make life none too sweet till it is cleared away. It
wasn't us that stirred up that skunk, but we've got to take a hand
in disinfecting the planet. See? We can't fight, but, by God! some
of us are going to sweat blood to sweep the mess up. Officially we
do nothing except give off Notes like a leaky boiler gives off steam.
But as individooal citizens we're in it up to the neck. So, in the
spirit of Jefferson Davis and Woodrow Wilson, I'm going to be the