punished them severely, so, if I had hanged them all, I had been
much in the right, and even should have been justified both by the
laws of God and man.

But to return to my story. In this kind of temper I lived some
years; I had no enjoyment of my life, no pleasant hours, no
agreeable diversion but what had something or other of this in it;
so that my wife, who saw my mind wholly bent upon it, told me very
seriously one night that she believed there was some secret,
powerful impulse of Providence upon me, which had determined me to
go thither again; and that she found nothing hindered me going but
my being engaged to a wife and children. She told me that it was
true she could not think of parting with me: but as she was
assured that if she was dead it would be the first thing I would
do, so, as it seemed to her that the thing was determined above,
she would not be the only obstruction; for, if I thought fit and
resolved to go--[Here she found me very intent upon her words, and
that I looked very earnestly at her, so that it a little disordered
her, and she stopped. I asked her why she did not go on, and say
out what she was going to say? But I perceived that her heart was
too full, and some tears stood in her eyes.] "Speak out, my dear,"
said I; "are you willing I should go?"--"No," says she, very
affectionately, "I am far from willing; but if you are resolved to
go," says she, "rather than I would be the only hindrance, I will
go with you: for though I think it a most preposterous thing for
one of your years, and in your condition, yet, if it must be," said
she, again weeping, "I would not leave you; for if it be of Heaven
you must do it, there is no resisting it; and if Heaven make it
your duty to go, He will also make it mine to go with you, or
otherwise dispose of me, that I may not obstruct it."