Thence we went where we heard a loud noise, beating and clamouring,
crying and laughing, shouting and singing. "Well, here's Bedlam and no
mistake," quoth I. By the time we got in, the turmoil had ceased; one
man lay like a log on the ground, another was vomiting, another nodding
his head over a hearth full of battered flagons, and broken pipes and
mugs. On enquiring, what should it be but a carousal of seven thirsty
neighbours--a tinker, a dyer, a blacksmith, a miner, a chimney-sweep, a
bard, and a parson who had come to preach sobriety, and to show in his
own person how repulsive drunkenness is; and the beginning of the recent
altercation was a discussion and dispute they had as to which of the
seven callings loved best the pot and pipe; the bard had beaten all but
the parson and, due regard being observed for the cloth, he was adjudged
victor and worthy to be leader of his good comrades, and so the bard
wound up the discussion thus:


"Where can ye find such thirsty seven,
"Search every clime and land?
"And quaffing off the ruddy ale,
"Bard and parson lead the band."


Thoroughly tired of these drunken swine, we drew nearer the gate in order
to spy out the blemishes in the magnificent court of Love, the purblind
king, wherein it is easy to enter, but difficult to get out again, and
where are chambers innumerable. In the hall opposite the door stood
giddy Cupid, with two arrows in his bow, darting a languishing venom
called lust. Along the floor I saw many fair and comely women walking
with measured steps, and following them, wretched youths gazing upon
their beauty, and each one begging a glance from his mistress, fearing a