only ousemaidin; and the other arf is dress-up and make-believe.

MITCHENER. Stuff, Sir. Its the easiest life in the world. Once
you learn your drill all you have to do is to hold your tongue
and obey your orders.

THE ORDERLY. But I do assure you, sir, arf the time they're the
wrong orders; and I get into trouble when I obey them. The
sergeants orders is all right; but the officers dont know what
theyre talkin about. Why the orses knows better sometimes.
"Fours" says Lieutenant Trevor at the gate of Bucknam Palace only
this morning when we was on duty for a State visit to the Coal
Trust. I was fourth man like in the first file; and when I
started the orse eld back; and the sergeant was on to me
straight. Threes, you bally fool, he whispers. And he was on to
me again about it when we came back, and called me a fathead, he
did. What am I to do, I says: the lieutenant's orders was fours,
I says. Ill show you whos lieutenant here, e says. In future you
attend to my orders and not to iz, e says: what does he know
about it? You didnt give me any orders, I says. Couldnt you see
for yourself there wasnt room for fours, e says: why cant you
THINK? General Mitchener tells me Im not to think but to obey
orders, I says. Is Mitchener your sergeant or am I, e says in his
bullyin way. You are, I says. Well, he says, youve got to do what
your sergeant tells you: thats discipline, he says. What am I to
do for the General I says. Youre to let im talk, e says: thats
what es for.

MITCHENER (groaning). It is impossible for the human mind to
conceive anything more dreadful than this. Youre a disgrace to