his country on the field of battle? Its not fightin I object to:
its soljerin. Show me a German and Ill have a go at him as fast
as you or any man. But to ave me time wasted like this, an be
stuck in a sentry box at a street corner for an ornament to be
stared at; and to be told "right about face: march" if I speak as
one man to another: that aint pluck: that aint fightin: that aint
patriotism: its bein made a bloomin sheep of.

MITCHENER. A sheep has many valuable military qualities. Emulate
them: dont disparage them.

THE ORDERLY. Oh, wots the good of talkin to you? If I wasnt a
poor soldier I could punch your head for forty shillins for a
month. But because youre my commanding officer you deprive me of
my right to a magistrate and make a compliment of giving me two
years ard sted of shootin me. Why cant you take your chance the
same as any civilian does?

MITCHENER (rising majestically). I search the pages of history in
vain for a parallel to such a speech made by a Private to a
general. But for the coherence of your remarks I should conclude
that you were drunk. As it is, you must be mad. You shall be
placed under restraint at once. Call the guard.

THE ORDERLY. Call your grandmother. If you take one man off the
doors the place'll be full of Suffragets before you can wink.

MITCHENER. Then arrest yourself; and off with you to the
guardroom.