I AM HUMILIATED, LIFTED UP, AND LEFT CURIOUS


It had been my hope to be able to buy, exercising great economy, a new
store of crucifixes in Bologna, and to find a country beyond it where I
might, without scruple, sell them for the means of bare subsistence--for
I asked no more than that. But even that much was not to be: the city of
St. Dominick's last rest would not allow long resting-place to me.

I was delighted with the first view of it, as, following the brown
street of entry, it revealed itself to me. Its towers and arcades,
squares and fountains and spacious churches made a strong impression
upon my excited senses. Having found a modest lodging, I wandered from
shrine to shrine enraptured, and, believing myself fondly in a city of
believers as ardent as myself, I took no trouble either to conceal my
crucifix, a most conspicuous ornament, I must allow, or my sentiments of
hopeful devotion. I suppose that by degrees I excited remark. I was a
stranger in a thinly populated, very idle, curious city. I think that I
meditated aloud--I may certainly have done so, since I had no desire to
conceal my ambitions. If I struck my breast, the action was sincere,
becoming to a contrite sinner; if I was inspired--and I was--I believe
that I was about to prove a cause of inspiration in others. It is
indubitable that I spoke to the crowd which gathered about me and
followed me from church to church, and that, under the stimulus of their
plaudits, I was moved to what may be called eloquence. I spoke of
charity, I remember, upon the steps of San Petronio--charity of
interpretation in matters of faith and morals and private conscience;
and I ended by declaring, what was perfectly true, that Christian as I
was, a Jew had put me in my present way of salvation.