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Ginx's Baby: his birth and other misfortunes; a satire by Edward Jenkins
page 48 of 119 (40%)
and now he had inhaled for seven hours the air of the Queen's
Bench. On his return to the convent he was hastily fed, and
carried to the chapel to give thanks for the victory of the day.
Wrapped in a handsome chasuble, they laid him on the steps of the
altar. In the most solemn part of the service he coughed, and
grew sick. The chasuble was bespattered. When the officiating
priest, to save that garment, took the child in his arms, he
nefariously polluted the sacerdotal vestments and the altar
steps. Then he kicked toward the altar itself, roared lustily,
and finally went into convulsions in Sister Suspiciosa's arms.
Like most women, the Lady Superior required her enthusiasm to be
fed with success. She began to think that she had been cozened:
Ginx's Baby was too evidently a spiritual miscarriage. He must,
like the rest of his family, be, indeed, "Protestant to the
backbone." Father Certificatus agreed with her. His robes and
best chasuble were befouled.

"Let us not risk a repetition of this conduct," said he; "let the
child be given up. He is baptized, and cannot be severed from
the Church. He will return after many days."

Next morning the solicitors of the Protestant Detectoral
Association received a letter from their opponents. In this they
said that--presuming Messrs. Roundhead, Roundhead, and Lollard,
intended to apply to the Master of the Rolls, the authorities of
the convent had decided, after having vindicated themselves in
the Queen's Bench, to give up the child, which would be, for
twenty-four hours, at the order and disposal of the Association,
and afterwards of his parents. "We are instructed by our
clients," they added, "to ask you to bear in mind that the child
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