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The Clockmaker — or, the Sayings and Doings of Samuel Slick, of Slickville by Thomas Chandler Haliburton
page 64 of 241 (26%)
does break out, if you don't see an eruption of human
gore, worse than Etna lava, then I'm mistaken. There'll
be the very devil to pay, that's a fact. I expect the
blacks will butcher the Southern whites, and the
northerners will have to turn out and butcher them again;
and all this shoot, hang, cut, stab, and burn business
will sweeten our folks' temper, as raw meat does that of
a dog--it fairly makes me sick to think on it. The
explosion may clear the air again, and all be tranquil
once more, but its an even chance if it don't leave us
the three steam boat options, to be blown sky high, to
be scalded to death or drowned. If this sad picture you
have drawn, be indeed true to nature, how does your
country, said I, appear so attractive, as to draw to it
so large a portion of our population? It tante its
attraction, said the Clockmaker, its nothin but its power
of suction; it is a great whirlpool--a great vortex--it
drags all the straw, and chips and floatin sticks, drift
wood and trash into it. The small crafts are sucked in,
and whirl round and round like a squirrel in a cage--
they'll never come out. Bigger ones pass through at
certain times of tide, and can come in and out with good
pilotage, as they do at HELL GATE up the Sound. You
astonish me, said I, beyond measure; both your previous
conversations with me, and the concurrent testimony of
all my friends who have visited the States, give a
different view of it. YOUR FRIENDS! said the Clockmaker,
with such a tone of ineffable contempt, that I felt a
strong inclination to knock him down for his insolence
--your friends! Ensigns and leftenants, I guess, from
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