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The Riches of Bunyan by Jeremiah Rev. Chaplin
page 95 of 562 (16%)
former sight of his immoralities did somewhat distress him, and make
him betake himself to his own good deeds to ease his conscience;
wherefore this was his prop, his stay. But behold, now God has taken
this from under him, and now he falls. Wherefore his best doth also
now forsake him, and fly away like the morning dew.

Besides, this revelation of the emptiness of his own righteousness
brings also with it a further discovery of the naughtiness of his
heart, in its hypocrisies, pride, unbelief, hardness of heart,
deadness, and backwardness to all gospel obedience; which sight of
himself lies like millstones upon his shoulders, and sinks him yet
further into doubts and fears of damnation. For bid him now receive
Christ; he answers, he cannot, he dares not. Ask him why he cannot;
he will answer, he has no faith nor hope in his heart. Tell him that
grace is offered him freely; he says, "But I have no heart to
receive it." Besides, he finds not, as he thinks, any gracious
disposition in his soul, and therefore concludes he does not belong
to God's mercy, nor has an interest in the blood of Christ, and
therefore dares not presume to believe. Wherefore he sinks in his
heart, he dies in his thoughts, he doubts, he despairs, and
concludes he shall never be saved.

5. But behold, the God of all grace leaves him not in this distress,
but comes up now to him closer than ever; he sends the Spirit of
adoption, the blessed Comforter, to him to tell him God is love, and
therefore not willing to reject the broken in heart; bids him cry
and pray for an evidence of mercy to his soul, and says,
"Peradventure you may be hid in the day of the Lord's anger."

At this the sinner takes some encouragement; yet he can get no more
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