Why is a Jew in a fever like a diamond?--Because he is a Jew-ill.

Why may carpenters reasonably believe there is no such thing as
stone?--Because they never saw it.

What is that which is put on the table and cut, but never eaten?--A
pack of cards.

Why does a sculptor die horribly?--Because he makes faces and busts.

When does a farmer double up a sheep without hurting it?--When he
folds it.

What lives upon its own substance and dies when it has devoured
itself?--A candle.

Why is a dog biting his tail a good manager?--Because he makes both
ends meet.

What thing is it that is lower with a head than without one?--A
pillow.

Which is the left side of a plum-pudding?--That which is not eaten.

What letter of the alphabet is necessary to make a shoe?--The last.

Why is it certain that "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was not written by the hand
of its reputed author?--Because it was written by Mrs. Beecher's toe
(Stowe).