What belongs to yourself, but is used more by your friends than by
yourself?--Your name.

Why is a spider a good correspondent?--Because he drops a line at
every post.

When is the clock on the stairs dangerous?--When it runs down.

Why is the letter "k" like a pig's tail?--Because it comes at the end
of pork.

What is the keynote to good manners?--B natural.

Why is a five-pound bank-note much more profitable than five
sovereigns?--Because when you put it in your pocket you double it,
and when you take it out you will find it increases.

Why is a watch like a river?--Because it doesn't run long without
winding.

What is that which flies high, flies low, has no feet, and yet wears
shoes?--Dust.

When has a man four hands?--When he doubles his fists.

What trees has fire no effect upon?--Ashtrees; because when they are
burned, they are ashes still.

What is the difference between a schoolmaster and an engine-driver?--
One minds the train and the other trains the mind.