When is a tradesman always above his business?--When he lives over his
shop.

Which is the liveliest city in the world?--Berlin; because it's always
on the Spree.

Why is a water-lily like a whale?--Because they both come to the
surface to blow.

Why is a shoemaker the most industrious of men?--Because he works to
the last.

What is book-keeping?--Forgetting to return borrowed volumes.

Why is scooping out a turnip a noisy process?--Because it makes it
hollow.

Why are teeth like verbs?--Because they are regular, irregular, and
defective.

What ships hardly ever sail out of sight?--Hardships.
When is an artist a dangerous person?--When his designs are bad.

Why are tortoiseshell-combs like citadels?--They are for-tresses.

Why is the Isthmus of Suez like the first "u" in cucumber?--Because it
is between two "c's" (seas).

What motive led to the invention of railroads?--The locomotive.