me. It seemed to me as if some unknown force were numbing and
stopping me, were preventing me from going further and were
calling me back. I felt that painful wish to return which comes
on you when you have left a beloved invalid at home, and are
seized by a presentiment that he is worse.

I, therefore, returned despite of myself, feeling certain that I
should find some bad news awaiting me, a letter or a telegram.
There was nothing, however, and I was surprised and uneasy, more
so than if I had had another fantastic vision.

August 8. I spent a terrible evening, yesterday. He does not show
himself any more, but I feel that He is near me, watching me,
looking at me, penetrating me, dominating me, and more terrible
to me when He hides himself thus than if He were to manifest his
constant and invisible presence by supernatural phenomena.
However, I slept.

August 9. Nothing, but I am afraid.

August 10. Nothing; but what will happen to-morrow?

August 11. Still nothing. I cannot stop at home with this fear
hanging over me and these thoughts in my mind; I shall go away.

August 12. Ten o'clock at night. All day long I have been trying
to get away, and have not been able. I contemplated a simple and
easy act of liberty, a carriage ride to Rouen--and I have not
been able to do it. What is the reason?