I fell asleep, dreaming thus in the cool night air, and then,
having slept for about three quarters of an hour, I opened my
eyes without moving, awakened by an indescribably confused and
strange sensation. At first I saw nothing, and then suddenly it
appeared to me as if a page of the book, which had remained open
on my table, turned over of its own accord. Not a breath of air
had come in at my window, and I was surprised and waited. In
about four minutes, I saw, I saw--yes I saw with my own
eyes--another page lift itself up and fall down on the others, as
if a finger had turned it over. My armchair was empty, appeared
empty, but I knew that He was there, He, and sitting in my place,
and that He was reading. With a furious bound, the bound of an
enraged wild beast that wishes to disembowel its tamer, I crossed
my room to seize him, to strangle him, to kill him! But before I
could reach it, my chair fell over as if somebody had run away
from me. My table rocked, my lamp fell and went out, and my
window closed as if some thief had been surprised and had fled
out into the night, shutting it behind him.

So He had run away; He had been afraid; He, afraid of me!

So to-morrow, or later--some day or other, I should be able to
hold him in my clutches and crush him against the ground! Do not
dogs occasionally bite and strangle their masters?

August 18. I have been thinking the whole day long. Oh! yes, I
will obey Him, follow His impulses, fulfill all His wishes, show
myself humble, submissive, a coward. He is the stronger; but an
hour will come.