they would contribute twenty-five dollars apiece toward sustaining the
life of one who was already dead to them. Moreover, they stood ready
to pay the expenses of his funeral when actual dissolution occurred,
but farther than that they could not be expected to go.

Mr. Bingle flared up--a most unusual thing for him to do. "You tell
them that I will take care of Uncle Joe as long as he lives without a
nickel from them and that I'll bury him when he dies."

"Out of your own pocket?" exclaimed the lawyer, who knew something of
bookkeepers' salaries.

"Most certainly not out of anybody else's," said Mr. Bingle, with
dignity. "And you can also tell them that they are a pack of blamed
good-for-nothings," he added, with absolutely no dignity.

"My dear sir."

"Be sure to tell 'em, will you? If I was a swearing man I'd do better
than that but I guess it will do for a starter."

"My clients will insist upon re-imbursing you for--" began the lawyer
stiffly, but Mr. Bingle snapped his fingers disdainfully, much nearer
the gentleman's nose than he intended, no doubt, and with a perfectly
astonishing result. The legal representative's hat fell off backwards
and he actually trod upon it in his haste to give way before the irate
little bookkeeper.

"You tell 'em just what I said, that's all you've got to do," said Mr.
Bingle, and then picked up his visitor's hat and pushed the crown into