force of my will. I honestly believe that the truest word, the
nearest to my character, I ever spoke. If I care about you it is for
one thing, and one only--because you are a soul hungry for life,
because you are capable of sacrifice and high effort, because you
are sensitive and eager. I love you and honor you for this; I take
you to my bosom, I give all my life to your service; and I shall
make you a perfect woman, or else kill you.

You must understand what I want; I want no concrete thing, no dozen
languages to throw you into despair. I want effort, effort,
_effort!_ That's all. And I believe that you might be a stronger
soul than I at this moment, if only you chose to hunt yourself out
and fight! That is truly what I feel about you, and that is why I
love you.

XXIII

DEAREST THYRSIS:

I have no more to say, my precious one; I bow in joy before your
will, your certainty, your power. Let it be so, I shall adore you as
I so long to do.

You are giving me all I could ask for. What more could I wish from
you, dear Thyrsis, than to know you will never leave my side? I will
try not to do any more bemoaning of my shortcomings. To-night I
reached a wonderful security and almost sublimity, until I could
have fallen on my face and praised God for His mercy. I talked out
loud to myself, I exhorted myself, I explained to myself what is my
beauty and possibility in life--the _reason_ for which I was born. I