how to go about the work. Of amusement, as far as I can remember,
he never recognised the need. He allowed himself no distraction,
and did not seem to think it was necessary to a child. I cannot
bethink me of aught that he ever did for my gratification; but for
my welfare,--for the welfare of us all,--he was willing to make
any sacrifice. At this time, in the farmhouse at Harrow Weald,
he could not give his time to teach me, for every hour that he was
not in the fields was devoted to his monks and nuns; but he would
require me to sit at a table with Lexicon and Gradus before me.
As I look back on my resolute idleness and fixed determination to
make no use whatever of the books thus thrust upon me, or of the
hours, and as I bear in mind the consciousness of great energy in
after-life, I am in doubt whether my nature is wholly altered, or
whether his plan was wholly bad. In those days he never punished
me, though I think I grieved him much by my idleness; but in passion
he knew not what he did, and he has knocked me down with the great
folio Bible which he always used. In the old house were the two first
volumes of Cooper's novel, called The Prairie, a relic--probably a
dishonest relic--of some subscription to Hookham's library. Other
books of the kind there was none. I wonder how many dozen times I
read those two first volumes.

It was the horror of those dreadful walks backwards and forwards
which made my life so bad. What so pleasant, what so sweet, as a
walk along an English lane, when the air is sweet and the weather
fine, and when there is a charm in walking? But here were the same
lanes four times a day, in wet and dry, in heat and summer, with
all the accompanying mud and dust, and with disordered clothes. I
might have been known among all the boys at a hundred yards' distance
by my boots and trousers,--and was conscious at all times that I