his wits about him who summed the thing up in these two words. There
is something in us,--an incapacity to give forth all that is in us.
One might say, God has given us bow and arrow, but refused us the
power to string the bow and send the arrow straight to its aim. I
should like to discuss it with my father, but am afraid to touch a
sore point. Instead of this, I will discuss it with my diary. Perhaps
it will be just the thing to give it any value. Besides, what can be
more natural than to write about what interests me? Everybody carries
within him his tragedy. Mine is this same 'improductivite slave' of
the Ploszowskis. Not long ago, when romanticism flourished in hearts
and poetry, everybody carried his tragedy draped around him as a
picturesque cloak; now it is carried still, but as a jagervest next to
the skin. But with a diary it is different; with a diary one may be
sincere. . . . To begin with, I note down that my religious belief I
carried still intact with me from Metz did not withstand the study of
natural philosophy. It does not follow that I am an atheist. Oh, no!
this was good enough in former times, when he who did not believe in
spirit, said to himself, 'Matter,' and that settled for him the
question. Nowadays only provincial philosophers cling to that worn-out
creed. Philosophy of our times does not pronounce upon the matter; to
all such questions, it says, 'I do not know.' And that 'I do not know'
sinks into and permeates the mind. Nowadays psychology occupies itself
with close analysis and researches of spiritual manifestations; but
when questioned upon the immortality of the soul it says the same, 'I
do not know,' and truly it does not know, and it cannot know. And now
it will be easier to describe the state of my mind. It all lies in
these words: I do not know. In this--in the acknowledged impotence of
the human mind--lies the tragedy. Not to mention the fact that
humanity always has asked, and always will ask, for an answer, they
are truly questions of more importance than anything else in the