continue without reproof, either personally, or as seen in the holy
conduct of others. Bunyan very properly attributed to a gracious
God, those checks of conscience which he so strongly felt even while
he was apparently dead in trespasses and sins. 'The Lord, even in
my childhood, did scare and affright me with fearful dreams, and did
terrify me with dreadful visions.'[19] 'I often wished that there
had been no hell, or that I had been a devil to torment others.'
A common childish but demoniac idea. His mind was as 'the troubled
sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt.'
'A while after, these terrible dreams did leave me; and with more
greediness, according to the strength of nature, I did let loose
the reins of my lusts, and delighted in all transgression against
the law of God.' 'I was the very ringleader of all the youth that
kept me company, into ALL MANNER of vice and ungodliness.'[20]

Dr. Southey and others have attempted to whiten this blackamore, but
the veil that they throw over him is so transparent that it cannot
deceive those who are in the least degree spiritually enlightened.
He alleges that Bunyan, in his mad career of vice and folly, 'was
never so given over to a reprobate mind,'[21] as to be wholly
free from compunctions of conscience. This is the case with every
depraved character; but he goes further, when he asserts that
'Bunyan's heart never was hardened.'[22] This is directly opposed
to his description of himself:--'I found within me a great desire
to take my fill of sin, still studying what sin was yet to be
committed; and I made as much haste as I could to fill my belly
with its delicates, lest I should die before I had my desire.' He
thus solemnly adds, 'In these things, I protest before God, I lie
not, neither do I feign this sort of speech; these were really,
strongly, and with all my heart, my desires; the good Lord, whose