began to be much perplexed, and knew not what to do.[64] At last,
he bethought himself, that he had slept in the arbour that is on
the side of the hill; and, falling down upon his knees, he asked
God's forgiveness for that his foolish act, and then went back to
look for his roll. But all the way he went back, who can sufficiently
set forth the sorrow of Christian's heart! Sometimes he sighed,
sometimes he wept, and oftentimes he chid himself for being so
foolish to fall asleep in that place, which was erected only for
a little refreshment for his weariness. Thus therefore he went
back, carefully looking on this side, and on that, all the way
as he went, if happily he might find his roll, that had been his
comfort so many times in his journey. He went thus, till he came
again within sight of the arbour where he sat and slept; but that
sight renewed his sorrow the more, by bringing again, even afresh,
his evil of sleeping into his mind (Rev. 2:5; 1 Thess. 5:7, 8).
Thus, therefore, he now went on bewailing his sinful sleep, saying,
"O wretched man that I am!" that I should sleep in the day time!
that I should sleep in the midst of difficulty! that I should
so indulge the flesh, as to use that rest for ease to my flesh,
which the Lord of the hill hath erected only for the relief of
the spirits of pilgrims![65]

How many steps have I took in vain! Thus it happened to Israel,
for their sin; they were sent back again by the way of the Red
Sea; and I am made to tread those steps with sorrow, which I might
have trod with delight, had it not been for this sinful sleep. How
far might I have been on my way by this time! I am made to tread
those steps thrice over, which I needed not to have trod but once;
yea, now also I am like to be benighted, for the day is almost
spent. O that I had not slept!