corruptions; or, if he fall, is it not a wonder to see him, when
devils and guilt are upon him, to rise again, stand upon his legs,
walk with God again, and persevere in faith and holiness?[97]

This severe conflict lasted for about a year. He describes his
feelings at times as resembling the frightful pangs of one broken
on the wheel. The sources of his misery were fears that he had sinned
against the Holy Ghost; and that through his hardness of heart and
impatience in prayer--he should not persevere to the end. During
all this time, occasional visits of mercy kept him from despair;
and at some intervals filled him with transports of joy. At one
time so delightfully was his burden removed that he could not tell
how to contain himself. 'I thought I could have spoken of his love
and of his mercy to me, even to the very crows that sat upon the
ploughed lands before me, had they been capable to have understood
me.'[98] Thus his feelings were controlled by reason, very different
to the poor madman who, in olden time, is represented as preaching
to the fish. With Bunyan it was a hallowed joy--a gush of holy
gladness, in which he wished all creation to participate. his heart
was baptized in hope. 'I know that my Redeemer liveth'; and with
holy Job, he wished to perpetuate his joy by a memorial not in
rock, but in a book of resemblance. 'I would I had a pen and ink
here to write it down.' This is the first desire that he expressed
to proclaim or publish to others the great Saviour he had found:
but he was not yet prepared; he must pass through deeper depths,
and possess a living knowledge of Divine truth, burnt into his soul
by satanic fires.

Very soon after this, he was harassed with fear lest he should part
with Christ. The tempter, as he did with Christian in the Valley of