Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 112 of 184 (60%)
page 112 of 184 (60%)
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what I'm talking about--nobody better. A guinea for whitebait for
yourself, when you grudge a pint of shrimps for your poor family. Eh? "YOU DON'T GRUDGE 'EM ANYTHING? "Yes, it's very well for you to lie there and say so. "WHAT WILL IT COST? "It's no matter what it will cost, for we won't go at all now. No; we'll stay at home. We shall all be ill in the winter--every one of us, all but you; and nothing ever makes you ill. I've no doubt we shall all be laid up, and there'll be a doctor's bill as long as a railroad; but never mind that. It's better--much better--to pay for nasty physic than for fresh air and wholesome salt water. Don't call me 'woman,' and ask 'what it will cost.' I tell you, if you were to lay the money down before me on that quilt, I wouldn't go now-- certainly not. It's better we should all be sick; yes, then you'll be pleased. "That's right, Mr. Caudle; go to sleep. It's like your unfeeling self! I'm talking of our all being laid up; and you, like any stone, turn round and begin to go to sleep. Well, I think that's a pretty insult! "HOW CAN YOU SLEEP WITH SUCH A SPLINTER IN YOUR FLESH? "I suppose you mean to call me the splinter?--and after the wife I've been to you! But no, Mr. Caudle, you may call me what you please; |
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