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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 118 of 184 (64%)
Nore, and such unfeeling trash.

"Yes, Caudle; we've now been married many years, but if we were to
live together for a thousand years to come--what are you clasping
your hands at?--a thousand years to come, I say, I shall never forget
your conduct this day. You could go to the other end of the ship and
smoke a cigar, when you knew I should be ill--oh, you knew it; for I
always am. The brutal way, too, in which you took that cold brandy-
and-water--you thought I didn't see you; but ill as I was, hardly
able to hold my head up, I was watching you all the time. Three
glasses of cold brandy-and-water; and you sipped 'em, and drank the
health of people who you didn't care a pin about; whilst the health
of your own lawful wife was nothing. Three glasses of brandy-and-
water, and _I_ left--as I may say--alone! You didn't hear 'em, but
everybody was crying shame of you.

"What do you say?

"A GOOD DEAL MY OWN FAULT? I TOOK TOO MUCH DINNER?

"Well, you are a man! If I took more than the breast and leg of that
young goose--a thing, I may say, just out of the shell--with the
slightest bit of stuffing, I'm a wicked woman. What do you say?

"LOBSTER SALAD?

"La!--how can you speak of it? A month-old baby would have eaten
more. What?

"GOOSEBERRY PIE?
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