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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 166 of 184 (90%)
"To be sure I do; but then I like it when I'm certain of it; no risks
for me. Yes, it's all very well to talk about fortunes made in no
time: they're like shirts made in no time--it's ten to one if they
hang long together.

"And now it's plain enough why you can't eat or drink, or sleep, or
do anything. All your mind's allotted into railways; for you shan't
make me believe that Eel-Pie Island's the only one. Oh, no! I can
see by the looks of you. Why, in a little time, if you haven't as
many lines in your face as there are lines laid down! Every one of
your features seems cut up--and all seem travelling from one another.
Six months ago, Caudle, you hadn't a wrinkle; yes, you'd a cheek as
smooth as any china, and now your face is like the Map of England.

"At your time of life, too! You, who were for always going small and
sure! You to make heads-and-tails of your money in this way! It's
that stock-broker's dog at Flam Cottage--he's bitten you, I'm sure of
it. You're not fit to manage your own property now; and I should
only be acting the part of a good wife if I were to call in the mad-
doctors.

"Well, I shall never know rest any more now. There won't be a soul
knock at the door after this that I sha'n't think it's the man coming
to take possession. 'Twill be something for the Chalkpits to laugh
at when we're sold up. I think I see 'em here, bidding for all our
little articles of bigotry and virtue, and--what are you laughing at?

"THEY'RE NOT BIGOTRY AND VIRTUE; BUT BIJOUTERIE AND VERTU?

"It's all the same: only you're never so happy as when you're taking
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