are; in a little time you'll have a face all over as if it was made
of red currant jam. And I should like to know who's to endure you
then? I won't, and so don't think it. Don't come to me.

"Nice habits men learn at clubs! There's Joskins: he was a decent
creature once, and now I'm told he has more than once boxed his
wife's ears. He's a Skylark too. And I suppose, some day, you'll be
trying to box MY ears? Don't attempt it, Mr. Caudle; I say don't
attempt it. Yes--it's all very well for you to say you don't mean
it,--but I only say again, don't attempt it. You'd rue it till the
day of your death, Mr. Caudle.

"Going and sitting for four hours at a tavern! What men, unless they
had their wives with them, can find to talk about, I can't think. No
good, of course.

"Eighteenpence a week--and drinking brandy-and-water, enough to swim
a boat! And smoking like the funnel of a steamship! And I can't
afford myself so much as a piece of tape! It's brutal, Mr. Caudle.
It's ve-ve-ve--ry bru--tal."


"And here," says Caudle--"Here, thank Heaven! at last she fell
asleep."



LECTURE IV--MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN CALLED FROM HIS BED TO BAIL MR.
PRETTYMAN FROM THE WATCH-HOUSE