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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 26 of 184 (14%)
man. You know I can't wear clogs; and with no umbrella, the wet's
sure to give me a cold--it always does. But what do you care for
that? Nothing at all. I may be laid up for what you care, as I
daresay I shall--and a pretty doctor's bill there'll be. I hope
there will! It will teach you to lend your umbrellas again. I
shouldn't wonder if I caught my death; yes: and that's what you lent
the umbrella for. Of course!

"Nice clothes I shall get too, trapesing through weather like this.
My gown and bonnet will be spoilt quite.

"NEEDN'T I WEAR 'EM THEN?

"Indeed, Mr. Caudle, I SHALL wear 'em. No, sir, I'm not going out a
dowdy to please you or anybody else. Gracious knows! it isn't often
that I step over the threshold; indeed, I might as well be a slave at
once,--better, I should say. But when I do go out,--Mr. Caudle, I
choose to go like a lady. Oh! that rain--if it isn't enough to break
in the windows.

"Ugh! I do look forward with dread for to-morrow! How I am to go to
mother's I'm sure I can't tell. But if I die I'll do it. No, sir; I
won't borrow an umbrella. No; and you sha'n't buy one. Now, Mr.
Caudle, only listen to this: if you bring home another umbrella,
I'll throw it in the street. I'll have my own umbrella or none at
all.

"Ha! and it was only last week I had a new nozzle put to that
umbrella. I'm sure, if I'd have known as much as I do now, it might
have gone without one for me. Paying for new nozzles, for other
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