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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 37 of 184 (20%)
of. I only wish I could bring myself not to care for mine.

"And why couldn't you say, like a man, you were going to Greenwich
Fair when you went out? It's no use your saying that, Mr. Caudle:
don't tell me that you didn't think of going; you'd made up your mind
to it, and you know it. Pretty games you've had, no doubt! I should
like to have been behind you, that's all. A man at your time of
life!

"And I, of course, I never want to go out. Oh no! I may stay at
home with the cat. You couldn't think of taking your wife and
children, like any other decent man, to a fair. Oh no, you never
care to be seen with us. I'm sure, many people don't know you're
married at all: how can they? Your wife's never seen with you. Oh
no; anybody but those belonging to you!

"Greenwich Fair, indeed! Yes,--and of course you went up and down
the hill, running and racing with nobody knows who. Don't tell me; I
know what you are when you're out. You don't suppose, Mr. Caudle,
I've forgotten that pink bonnet, do you? No: I won't hold my
tongue, and I'm not a foolish woman. It's no matter, sir, if the
pink bonnet was fifty years ago--it's all the same for that. No:
and if I live for fifty years to come, I never will leave off talking
of it. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Caudle. Ha! few
wives would have been what I've been to you. I only wish my time was
to come over again, that's all; I wouldn't be the fool I have been.

"Going to a fair! and I suppose you had your fortune told by the
gipsies? You needn't have wasted your money. I'm sure I can tell
you your fortune if you go on as you do. Yes, the gaol will be your
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