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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 6 of 184 (03%)
married; and was therefore made the recipient of a wife's wisdom.
Mrs. Caudle, like Mahomet's dove, continually pecked at the good
man's ears; and it is a happiness to learn from what he left behind
that he had hived all her sayings in his brain; and further, that he
employed the mellow evening of his life to put such sayings down,
that, in due season, they might be enshrined in imperishable type.

When Mr. Job Caudle was left in this briary world without his daily
guide and nocturnal monitress, he was in the ripe fulness of fifty-
seven. For three hours at least after he went to bed--such slaves
are we to habit--he could not close an eye. His wife still talked at
his side. True it was, she was dead and decently interred. His
mind--it was a comfort to know it--could not wander on this point;
this he knew. Nevertheless, his wife was with him. The Ghost of her
Tongue still talked as in the life; and again and again did Job
Caudle hear the monitions of bygone years. At times, so loud, so
lively, so real were the sounds, that Job, with a cold chill, doubted
if he were really widowed. And then, with the movement of an arm, a
foot, he would assure himself that he was alone in his holland.
Nevertheless, the talk continued. It was terrible to be thus haunted
by a voice: to have advice, commands, remonstrance, all sorts of
saws and adages still poured upon him, and no visible wife. Now did
the voice speak from the curtains; now from the tester; and now did
it whisper to Job from the very pillow that he pressed. "It's a
dreadful thing that her tongue should walk in this manner," said Job,
and then he thought confusedly of exorcism, or at least of counsel
from the parish priest.

Whether Job followed his own brain, or the wise direction of another,
we know not. But he resolved every night to commit to paper one
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