Darley had one hot summer day when all hands was lyin' round the
stores and law-offices tryin' to git cool by fannin' and sprinklin'
the sidewalks. Did you ever hear tell of the Tom Collins gag?"

"I think not," the banker answered.

"Well, I have--you bet I have," John said, dryly, "an" it is one thing
that makes me afraid sometimes that a country feller railly hain't
actually overloaded with brains. Take my advice; if anybody ever tells
you that a feller by the name o' Tom Collins is lookin' for you an'
anxious to see you about something important, just skin your eye at
'im, tell 'im right out that you don't give a dang about Tom Collins.
La me, what a fool--what a fool I was! A feller workin' at the cotton-
compress told me that a man by the name o' Tom Collins wanted to see
me right off, an' that he was up at the wholesale grocery. Fool that I
was, I hitched my hosses an' struck out lickity-split for the grocery.
I axed one of the storekeepers standin' in front if Tom Collins was
anywhars about, and, as I remember now, he slid his hand over his
mouth an' sorter turned his face to one side and yelled back in the
store:

"'Say, boys, is Tom Collins back thar?' An' right then, Mr. Mostyn, if
I had had the sense of a three-year-old baby I'd have smelt a mouse,
for fully six clerks, drummers, and all the firm hurried to whar I was
at an' stood lookin' at me, their eyes dancin'. 'He _was_ here, but
he's just left,' a clerk said. 'He went to the hotel to git his grip.
He was awfully put out. He's been all over town lookin' for you.'
Well, as I made a break for the hotel, wonderin' if somebody had died
an' left me a hunk o' money, the gang at the grocery stood clean out
on the sidewalk watchin' me. When I inquired at the hotel, the clerk