turned durin' the Quane's pleasure to a lump av wood, lookin' out
straight forninst me, wid a--a--candelabbrum in my hand, for you to
pick your cards out av, must I not see nor feel? Av coorse I du! Up
my back, an' in my boots, an' in the short hair av the neck--that's
where I kape my eyes whin I'm on duty an' the reg'lar wans are fixed.
Know! Take my word for it, Sorr, ivrything an' a great dale more is
known in a rig'mint; or fwhat wud be the use av a Mess Sargint, or a
Sargint's wife doin' wet-nurse to the Major's baby? To reshume. He was
a bad dhrill was this Capt'n--a rotten bad dhrill--an' whin first I
ran me eye over him, I sez to myself: "My Militia bantam!" I sez, "My
cock av a Gosport dunghill"--'twas from Portsmouth he came to
us--"there's combs to be cut," sez I, "an' by the grace av God,'tis
Terence Mulvaney will cut thim."

'So he wint menowderin', and minanderin', an' blandandherin' roun' an'
about the Colonel's daughter, an' she, poor innocint, lookin' at him
like a Comm'ssariat bullock looks at the Comp'ny cook. He'd a dhirty
little scrub av a black moustache, an' he twisted an' turned ivry wurrd
he used as av he found ut too sweet for to spit out. Eyah! He was a
tricky man an' a liar by natur'. Some are born so. He was wan. I knew
he was over his belt in money borrowed from natives; besides a lot av
other matthers which, in regard for your presince, Sorr, I will
oblitherate. A little av fwhat I knew, the Colonel knew, for he wud
have none av him, an' that, I'm thinkin', by fwhat happened aftherwards,
the Capt'n knew.

'Wan day, bein' mortial idle, or they wud never ha' thried ut, the
rig'mint gave amshure theatricals--orf'cers an' orf'cers' ladies.
You've seen the likes time an' agin, Sorr, an' poor fun 'tis for them
that sit in the back row an' stamp wid their boots for the honour av