_Take it from me: A guy who's square,
His chances always are the best.
I'm in the know, for I've been there,
And that's no ancient Roman jest._

What time he hits the hay to rest
There's nothing on his mind but hair,
No javelin upon his chest--
_Take it from me, a guy who's square._

There's nothing that can throw a scare
Into the contents of his vest;
His name is Eva I-Don't-Care;
_His chances always are the best._

Why, once, when I was way out West,
Singing to Lalage, a bear
Came up, and I was some distressed--
_I'm in the know, for I've been there._

But back he went into his lair,
(Cage, corner, den, retreat, nook, nest),
And left me to "The Maiden's Prayer"--
_And that's no ancient Roman jest._

In Newtonville or Cedar Crest,
In Cincinnati or Eau Claire,
I'll warble till I am a pest,