An that my grammar go awry,
An that my English be askew,
Sooth, I can prove an alibi--
The Bard of Avon did it, too.

If often toward the bottled grape
My errant fancy fondly turns,
Remember, jeering jackanape,
I err in company with Burns.

If now and then I sigh "Mine own!"
Unto another's wedded wife,
Remember I am not alone--
Hast ever read Lord Byron's Life?

If frequently I fret and fume,
And absolutely will not smile,
I err in company with Hume,
Old Socrates and T. Carlyle.

If e'er I fail in etiquette,
And foozle on The Proper Stuff
Regarding manners, don't forget
A. Tennyson's were pretty tough.

Eke if I err upon the side
Of talking overmuch of Me,
I err, it cannot be denied,
In most illustrious company.