Now and then there's an auto that doesn't break down,
Or an angler who catches some fish;
Now and then there's a pretty society gown
Or a girl that breaks never a dish;
There is haply a Croesus who isn't a hoax.
Or a jest that's not hoary with age;
But there never is one in American jokes
Or on the American stage.

Now and then there's a poet with closely cropped hair,
Or a sporting man quiet in dress;
Now and then there's a lady from Boston who's fair,
Now and then there's a fetterless press;
Now and then there's a laugh that a jester may coax,
A librettist may put on his page--
But they're terribly rare in American jokes,
And--oh, the American stage!



Jim and Bill


Bill Jones was cynical and sad;
He thought sincerity was rare;
Most people, Bill believed, were bad
And few were fair.

He said that cheating was the rule;
That nearly everything was fake;