A joke, he barks, speak sad, he moans,
The other day I said to him,
'Here, Bruce, take this to Uncle Jim,'
And gave . . . "

"We've really got the best
And cheapest flat in town. On West
Two-Forty-Third Street. That ain't far--
The subway, then the Yonkers car--
An hour, perhaps a little more.
I leave the house at 7.04--
I'm in the office every day
At nine o'clock. Six rooms are all
We have, if you don't count the hall--
Though it is bigger far than most
The rooms I've seen. I hate to boast
About my flat; but . . . "

"Say, I've got
The greatest, newest, finest plot--
Dramatic, humorous, and fresh--
And, though I'm not in the profesh,
I'll back this little play of mine
Against Pinero, Fitch, or Klein.
Sure fire! A knockout! It can't miss!
The plot of it begins like this:
The present time--that's what they've got
To have--and then a modern plot.
Jack Hammond, hero, loves a girl:
Extremely jealous of an earl.